I did some revisions lately in order to prepare for Level 2 next month, so I thought, hey, why not describe or write something and make use as much as the vocabs or grammar that I’ve practiced before? And then…this EVIL idea magically appeared (okay, so it didn’t exactly magically appeared, I MADE it to appear!) about writing…uh, describing…someone…someone that I’ve err…’created’… (those of you who know me surely knows who this someone is…) Hence, without further ado, let’s see how well horridly I’ve done…

<* Perrinator roars with laughter before continuing her SINISTER practical lessons… *>
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Madre mia!!! Esta es una puta fea! Tienes los ojos hinchados (como un osa panda) y el pelo corto maloliente. Ella es muy tonta, baja y bastante gorda. Tienes un lunar grande fea en su cara. Su nariz es como un tomate porque estornuda mucha! Sus manos y piernas son muy extrañas. Ohhh…sus dientes son negros!!! ¿Sabes que tiene muchas arrugas en su frente? Y hay muchos granos en su cara redonda! Es como una mina de oro! Jajajajajaja!!!!

También, ella es la persona más idiota del mundo! Le gusta hacer muchas preguntas estúpidas casi todos los días, como un niña que usualmente pregunta “¿mamá, por qué la hierba es verde?” Pero, ella no es un niña!! Así que, ¿acuerdas conmigo que ella es muy tonta?

Ah, también tienes un coche verde feo pero ella es muy perezosa lavar su coche. No sabe cocinar o hornear pero sabe comer. No sabe hacer las tareas de la casa pero sabe acortarse y dormir. No sé por qué su marido se casa con ella!! Oh, ¿quizás también él es tonto? Jajajajajaja!!!

La traducción (the translation):

Oh my goodness!!! This is one ugly bitch! She has swollen eyes (like a panda bear) and short smelly hair. She is very stupid, short and quite fat. She has a big ugly mole on her face. Her nose is like a tomato because she sneezes a lot! Her hands and legs are really weird. Oh…her teeth are black!!! Do you know that she has a lot of wrinkles on her forehead? And there are a lot of pimples on her round face! It’s like a goldmine! Hahahahahaha!!!

She is also the most idiotic person on earth! She likes to ask a lot of stupid questions almost everyday, like a kid that usually asks “Mom, why the grass is green?” But she is not a kid!! So, don’t you agree with me that she is really stupid?

Ah, she also has an ugly green car but she is too lazy to wash her car. She do not know how to cook or bake but she knows how to eat. She do not know how to do housework but she knows how to go to bed and sleep. I don’t know why her husband marries her!! Oh, perhaps he’s stupid too? Hahahahaha!!!!

Oh dear me, if there are any Spanish-speaking people or Spaniards who happen to chance upon this entry of mine, do help me correct my mistakes (I’m sure there are plenty!).

¡HOLA SEÑORES Y SEÑORAS! ESTOY MUY MUY MUY FELIZ PORQUE MIS RESULTADOS DE EXAMEN SON 93%!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH DIOS!!!! ES MUY INCREÍBLE!!!! PIENSO QUE NO DUERMO ESTÁ NOCHE!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! 

< * Perrinator is still screaming with joy and disbelief (ceh, as if she’s hit a multi-million dollar jackpot) and couldn’t stop jumping like a mad, fugly baboon *>

¡VALE! ¡VALE! ¡VALE! LA TRADUCCIÓN (OK! OK! OK! The translation):

HELLO LADIES & GENTLEMEN! I AM VERY VERY VERY HAPPY BECAUSE MY TEST RESULT IS 93%! OH GAWD! IT’S REALLY UNBELIEVABLE! I THINK I CAN’T SLEEP TONIGHT!

<* Perrinator continue laughing and making circles around her chair… *>

SOMEBODY, SLAP ME!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHEN I CHECKED MY EMAIL EARLIER, I WAS SO EXCITED TO SEE THE PRINCIPAL’S NAME! AND WHEN I CLICK TO READ THE CONTENT…I HAD TO READ THE LINE MANY MANY MANY TIMES BEFORE BELIEVING MY SCORE!!!!! I THOUGHT WE’VE BEEN TOLD THAT THE RESULT WILL BE OUT ON THE 1ST OF SEPT! BUT IT DOESN’T MATTER BECAUSE NOW I KNOW AND NOW I’M FEELING INCREDIBLY HAPPY AND MOTIVATED TO LEARN MORE!!!!!

<* Perrinator pauses for a moment, trying to catch her breath and then continue jumping with all her jelly flabby fats bouncing up and down, up and down… *>

Her email is very brief, just a one-liner:

Hola Perrin. ¡Enhorabuena! Los resultados de tu examen son 93%.

And I replied her email with Spanglish! LOL!!!!!!! Phewww….relax…chill…WOW!! So, good news is, I can continue with my Level 2 in October…the bad news is…I have to either change my Thailand’s trip or cancel it if I couldn’t agree with the new date!! Well, according to the level 2 schedule, my last class before the test falls on the same week that I’m supposed to go to Thailand. And there’s no freaking way I’m gonna miss my class! If I can’t change to a new date that I want, then…I’ll have to burn the air ticket!!! Sighhh… I guess I’ll just think of it as…a DONATION to the Thailand government! LOL!!!! Oh dear! I’m so late for an appointment! Gotta go! Hasta luego! (See you!)

The ferocious, foreign battle began with the oddball of the hordes, Pratos, abandoned by the Gawds-Of-Ayams-Itiks-Kambings-Lembus-Babis, threw all 400 pounds of herself towards the heavy, gigantic wooden gate and crashing it down, hell bent on a mission to win the battle by slaying her way through the city of Señoras and Señores with the fiery, phenomenal Blades Of Chaos weapon, to come face to face with the Gawd Of Español 1.

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EH!!!!!! MADRE MIA!!! APA NI?!?!?! GOD OF WAR + PIRATES OF THE CARRIBEAN???!!!!

Oh, excuse me, you sane people out there. I am obviously suffering from the post-natal post-Spanish-test syndrome where the line between reality and gaming blurs considerably…LMAO!!! OooOoOOOooOoo yessss…I’ve completed my test last week, and I am pretty confident that I’ll manage to just uhm…well, just glide through it (barely) and the passing mark is 50%!! Dammit! Shouldn’t they lower it like, to a 40% since it is a totally FOREIGN thing??? And to my surprise, the test even contained a WRITTEN section!!! What. The. Fart?!?! Lucky me, I’ve done some writing exercises too, and I think I manage to score some points there. Oh well, the results will be out on September 1st!

In the mean time, I’m taking a short break from my Spanish adventure to concentrate more on err…other equally pressing matters and yes, to resume playing GOW (I know, I know I’m soooo late whereas you guys have already completed GOW III)…Till then, hasta luego!! (see you!)

Blood will be spilled. Dead carcasses will appear. Aunties will frown. Market traders will scramble to their feet, seeking for more stock. Oh yes…this not-so-graphic scene will soon become a reality and –

<* Somebody throws a dead trout on Perrinator’s head and shouts, “Ooi!! Becareful with your words! My kids, your godchildren, are still very young!” *>

Ooopsie…yes, you’re right. Let’s omit what I was about to type earlier. Anyway, to summarize…all the ayams and itiks and kambings and lembus and babis in this country will soon be slayed and offered to the uhm…Gods…why? Well, I’ve informed most of my friends, neighbours, relatives and even the hi-bye-friends-or-strangers of different races to slaughter these livestock so that they can offer to their Gods and PRAY for ME that I’ll PASS my Spanish test next week!

MADRE MIA!!!!!

I thought the test will be held the week after next! So now, señoras y señores (ladies and gentlemen), I have one more week left before my first battle in Spanish test begins! Time really flies! It still felt like I’ve just signed up for my first lesson! Sigh…

I’m never 100% confident in anything I do. But I’ve been very hardworking since a coupla weeks ago and already have begun revising and practising for hours everyday after work and even more during weekends! I hope that all these practical exercises that I’ve been doing for the past few weeks will help me pass my level 1 test!! I don’t need to pass with flying colors or rainbows! I just need to PASS in order to advance to level 2.

I’ve photocopied three different sets of grammar books from the library (please don’t sue me!), bought one used but in very good condition book from ebay (my first ebay purchase!) because the ones selling here cost absurdly high, and I also bought two more books from Kinokuniya bookstore, which I have yet to touch!

Surprisingly, of all the bookstores that I’ve been, Kinokuniya offers the best range of Spanish (and other language) exercise books. Imagine, a JAPANESE bookstore that offers PLENTY of OTHER language books! Shame on you, MPH! Shame on you, Times! Shame on you, Borders! In case you wonder how do I know which workbook is good for me, well, it’s pretty simple. GOOGLE IT! Yeap, I did a google on which Spanish exercise books are highly recommended, and well, I bought them and have no regrets so far!

Ooooooohhh…time for me to revise now! Peeps, fine, you don’t need to sembelih anything, but please, do pray for me so that I’ll pass my level 1, vale? Hasta luego y que tengas un buen fin de semana! (See you and have a nice weekend!)

I can’t help but to tell you about my 4th Spanish class yesterday! Why? Well…this is a SPECIAL edition because…the Spanish tutor wore a pretty TIGHT-FITTING BLACK T-shirt!! Madre mia!!!!!

<* Perrinator recalls that she almost fell off her chair yesterday when he entered the room casually with his usual friendly greeting in Spanish! *>

Yes, you could see his biceps (though it’s not toned!) and gosh, he has a pretty flat waist (no ugly bulging fats like mine)! That T-shirt of his was enough to distract my concentration AND keep my eyeballs wide open. I think I didn’t even yawn during the lesson! LOL!!!

<* Perrinator silently thanked God that she did not salivate during the entire 3-hour lesson *>

I seriously think he should wear something like that more often to keep us…okay wait, maybe not all of us, but at least to keep ME wide awake! But it could be a bad thing though, because it’s really meddling with my brain cells which control my concentration nerves! Oh well…the class went pretty well, it’s getting tougher as we move further into the lessons and it’ll be a helluva roller coaster ride next week onwards as the difficulty of the subjects increases even more.

So, right after my class, I immediately went home and began baking one of my favourite (and easiest) cakes of all – Banana Orange Cake! Well, that’s because I’ll be going over to my friend’s bf’s house for a steamboat dinner and I thought, hey, since they have not tried that cake before, why don’t I bake one for them? Yeap…I was lucky enough that I had plenty of buffer time to bake one. I actually baked one the day before but I wasn’t satisfied with the outcome, hence, after the class, I baked another one and voila! It turned out much better than the day before!

I also made them cookies…hmm…what should I call it? Strawberry Jam Cookies? It doesn’t matter anyway, coz’ apparently, they all like my cake (except for Sime who doesn’t fancy eating bananas!) and cookies and my goddaughter was delighted that she get the entire Tupperware filled with the cookies back home! Ahhh…so, here’s my favourite picture taken after our steamboat dinner!