PERRINATOR.COM

You walk into a store. A somewhat reputable store. Browse for your favorite product, say, a wide LCD TV. And you decided to buy it. But, how sure are you, that the newly purchased TV, is…really, new?

Last year, my family bought a Samsung LCD TV from a so-called reputable local store and we made a RM50 deposit payment. We had been told that the new TV will take a few days to arrive and once it did, they will dutifully inform us to collect the TV and pay the remaining balance of about RM5,000.

Prior to that, we had already warned them that we will only accept new, as in really new TV, NOT the display set. Well, of course they agreed. But my mother still have that uneasy feeling that they might just commit something so offensive that she would probably have burn their shop to the ground.

So, she followed her own instinct and took down the serial number of the display set. Lucky for us, there was only one display set of that particular brand that we wanted. Fast forward, a few days later, we happily brought the TV back home and unwrapped the box. Well, guess what? When we check the serial number of the TV set, it was exactly the same number with what my mother had jotted down the other day!!!

We were abso-f#@%ing-lutely furious! We paid over RM5,000 for a display set?! Bloody hell! We immediately went back to that dirty shop and screwed the sales guy who attended to us previously. He did not even explain his actions, and all he can say is Sorry, Sorry, and that he will replace a new one. Our rage almost reached an uncontrollable level when we discovered that right before our flaming eyes, there was a NEWLY unwrapped LCD TV on the floor!

Yes, we screwed that bugger again ‘til he wished he was never born in this world!!! We did created uhm…a ‘little’ ruckus and caught the attention of other customers in store. My mother couldn’t keep her mouth shut and told them about what happened. So, fearing that the same unfortunate event will befall them, they quickly jotted down the serial number of the product that they wanted to buy that night. LOL!

We did not report this to the police (though the police station was like five minutes walk away from the shop) since we got our new TV on that same night. So, before you decided to buy something new, remember to jot down the serial number, usually found at the back of a product, in this case, at the back of the TV near the cable inputs.

The serial number at the back of the TV (next to the cable inputs)

A serial number is a unique number, like an ID, for each product produced. Make sure you double-check the number that you have taken, and keep it in a safe place, or at least ‘til your product have arrived.

The serial number, usually denoted by the abbreviation S/N

Please do not think that a reputable store would not commit such a dirty tactic in order to clear their display sets. That night, I think I had a sweet dream about that shop…

Perrinator as Commander Blast-First-Talk-Later

Perrinator with her comrades

Tsk Tsk Tsk…What did mama tell you? Don’t ever lie or cheat!

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The first thing that pops up in your head when you see the word Vroom is probably…a car. A really fast car. Well, in my case, it would be a really fast motorbike instead. Custom bike. Super bike. Get the idea? Read on then.

Last Sunday, I attended the Asian International Motorcycle Expo 2007 at KL Convention Centre with a friend of mine (who has a super custom camera himself!) I was pretty excited at that time as it was my first time getting up close and personal with both super and custom bikes! However, that excitement slowly dissipates when I realized the hallway wasn’t even crowded.

A rather quiet hallway

When we reached the ticket counter, well, I was pretty surprised that the queue wasn’t even that long. Anyway, we proceed to the counter and bought the ticket entry, RM10 each.

The RM10 ticket entry into the bike expo

I was totally caught off-guard when the personnel told us that we also had to pay an additional RM5 for each camera being brought into the exhibition hall. This is totally absurd!

The ridiculous RM5 camera fee

After that, we stepped into the hall, and it was uhm…well…not exactly how I envisioned it. I thought there will be like scores of motorbikes all over the place with models in every bike booth. According to my friend, he said the models weren’t even pretty. LOL! Not too sure about that, coz’ my attention was entirely on the bikes! Let’s start off with the custom bikes.

Yes, the magnificent Angkasawan bike, named after our first space man.

Metamorphosis – nice name, nice bike

Oops, perhaps Ghost Rider’s son left his bike here!

This is one red hot-looking bike! Yooouccchhh!!!

Fancy an orange-colored bikey, anyone?

Green monster. Perhaps it belongs to Mr. Hulk

Fiery orange bike

I’m feeling soooooooo blue

Don’t play play, this custom bike won the AMP World Championship Of Custom Bike Building 2006 title!!!

Watch out though, there was one particular bike that wasn’t uhm…wasn’t really halal.

Not really a halal bike!

Can’t see it properly, huh? Well, take a closer look with this one…

See? Get what I mean? LOL!

Really didn’t have a clue as to whose idea was that! Anyway, let’s get on with the super bikes. Non-halal, guaranteed!

F4 Special. I just love this black beauty! (and no, this bike doesn’t belong to any member of the F4 Taiwanese boyband)

Another red hot-looking super bike, Agusta!

I am an absolute die-hard fan of the Ducati bikes! I was pretty excited when I saw the Ducati signboard and dashed forward in order to get a good place to take a nice shot at this really beautiful red one! Unfortunately, there were like a dozen men hovering over it and I couldn’t possibly get a good shot without someone’s head or hand or butt appearing in my photos! Nevertheless, I managed to capture it (and other bikes) in video but have some problems uploading it! [p/s:already uploaded! check it out at the end of this post]

Not the red one, but still it is a beautiful Ducati bike!

Mama mia! This is one helluva Ducati super bike! Black Beauty! Sweeeeeeeet!

And all you thought was just bikes with models. What if I tell you that there was also a massage parlour booth?

I. Kid. You. Not!

What about some spiky, funky hairdos and tattoos?

Fuhlamak! Look at her tattoos! All over the place! Awwww!!!

Russell Mitchell, the legendary custom bike builder!

Not forgetting, art. Yes, you read that right. Art. A-R-T.

Definitely a highly skillful and artful bike dude!

Ahh…how about me, posing as a bike model?

Oh, stop puking, will ya?! I can’t be that bad…can I? LOL!

So, at the end of the day, was it worth the ticket money? Hm…I’d say…50% of it.

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I am currently writing, or rather, typing this blog entry, with utter shock and very much disgusted by an incident involving a poor lady’s misfortune by the name of Jessica. I was on my way to work this morning, listening to Fly FM’s Big Bang Breakfast show, where they have this segment called Fix It (they try to fix people’s problems).

So, Jessica emailed them about her problem misery, about losing a best friend dear to her heart – a Labrador Retriever. Yes, you read that right. She was frantic about it, printed posters of her pooch and pasted it around her neighborhood, offering RM1,000 as a reward for anyone who is able to return her dog or have information regarding his whereabouts.

She was walking around her housing area when all of a sudden, she noticed that her neighbor had a dog…a Labrador who looked 100% like her own dog. Feeling rather suspicious, she confronted her neighbor but this S.O.B refused to admit that the dog wasn’t his. So, Jessica sent in an email to Fly FM, hoping they could fix it.

The guys from the show called up this brainless, heartless dude, and asked whether he had a dog or not. This b@$tard said “uh…about a month ago” and the breakfast guys continued doing their digging, and even asked, “have you noticed the posters of missing dog being plastered all over the neighborhood?”. And…Ohmygawd! His face is surely thick enough for him to say “Nope, I didn’t notice”

The moment he said that, Jessica could no longer keep quiet on the other line and burst out “that’s a lie!” Yes indeed, you f@#$%^% liar!!!! Unless you are totally blind, then we all would have forgiven you! But no, you ignorant @$$hole!! You chose to break this lady’s heart, and obviously, you do not know how deep the relationship between the owner and her beloved mutt!

I guess he must have a super duber thick rubber face to even have the guts to say “that dog found me” and kept insisting that the dog was his! Totally rubbish!! So, Jessica said if he is so sure that the dog is indeed his, then they both should bring the dog to the nearest vet clinic and have him scanned! Yes, Jessica had her dog micro-chipped in the event something terrible like this happened!

And yet, that bloody moron refused to cooperate, still insisting that the dog is his! When Jessica could no longer take it, she just fell apart and cried on air, saying in between sobs that she and her dog have been together many years, they have wonderful friendship, and begged that typical chinaman to go for a micro-chip scan and prove the dog’s rightful owner!

Why typical chinaman, you wonder? Well, while I was dining with one of my best friends and relating this story to her, she said that usually in the Chinese community, when a dog walks in into a person’s house, it means…the dog will bring the owner continuous luck. Can you f#$%@*# believe that?!?!?!

In the end, he came to his senses, and agreed to go on with the test. Bloody hell! He could have just returned the dog to her instead of going through all the fuss which I am sure, the Labrador is indeed Jessica’s! Perhaps he has the thickest face in the entire universe and qualifies for an entry in the Guinness World Record, or Guinness Universe Record. Oh, and he certainly need some serious brain tweaking deep down inside his rotten head!

When I arrived in the office, I immediately called up the usual vet clinic and asked for the micro-chipping service and the associated costs. Well, it certainly doesn’t cost a bomb, and I will definitely bring my boy over there this weekend and have this naughty boy micro-chipped as well! Jessica honey, I hope you have your pooch back!

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If you expect this movie has a good plot and storyline, then read no further. However, if you are into slick fighting moves executed by hot (and I mean really HOT) chicks, then read on!

The movie is actually based on a video game of the same name, Dead Or Alive, developed by Tecmo. And get this…it was directed by Cory Yuen, a Hong Kong director and a real kung fu disciple, which probably explains why the combat skills are so damn cool!

Allow me to introduce the three main hotties in the film. First, we have Princess Kasumi (played by Devon Aoki), a petite Japanese killing machine hailed from a far away temple located on the Ishikari mountain who speaks in English, and not Japanese (like I said, do not expect logical or good storyline here!), hell-bent on seeking the truth about her alleged brother’s death.

Princess Kasumi – Fancy some human sushi, anyone?I particularly like the sword-fighting scene where she exchanges blows and kicks with another hot assassin in the bamboo forest. Oh wait, more like, bamboo-sword fighting scene! LOL! There’s also this scene where a piece of cloth (err…either from Kasumi’s or the assassin’s) flies sky high, then slowly descended onto the ultra sharp sword, and the cloth is like, being sliced into two like a sushi! Shussshhh!!!Then we have Tina Armstrong (played by Jaime Pressly), a pro-wrestler who desperately tries to prove to everyone that she is not just another silly bimbo on the wrestling ring. And yes, her body built is indeed…muscular and really toned.

Tina Armstrong – You jump, I…fly!Her opening scene begins with her in a bikini (guys, please, save your saliva for more drooling later on as there are plenty of bikini-clad women in this show!), casually relaxing on her yacht while getting a sun tan and chatting with her father on the speaker phone. And yes, a bunch of pirate morons have an early death wish for trying to hijack the yacht…as expected, all of them suffered from excruciating pain inflicted by the cowgirl’s kickboxing moves! Awesome!Think that a cowgirl in bikini is absolutely sizzling? Wait till you meet the next character. Equally tough (and deadly) is the sexy Christie Allen (played by Holly Valance), a professional thief and assassin whose opening scene is…shower time! No, there’s no frontal nudity. Sorry to disappoint, guys. LOL!

Christie Allen – Come to mama, my babies!!! This is perhaps my most favorite scene of all…she disarm all her opponents, clad only in her towel (and panties which she manage to put on earlier in front of the policemen) and…ohmygawd, manage to kick free her bra and the gun from the police’s hand, and and aaannndddd…the bra falls nicely through her up-stretched arms along with the gun, which she swiftly pointed it at the officer’s crotch!!! All these moves are done in slow mo! Fuhlamak!!!All three babes, along with other stunning @$$-kicking ladies execute great moves, mostly fast-paced, perfectly styled and all exude dangerously sexy charms that prove to be too hot for the guys to handle! Ouch!!!

More human sushi, anyone? So, who cares about good plot when you have a bunch of fine sexy-looking mamas kicking up a mega storm on the silver screen?!?!?

Nice pin-up, eh? Hmm…I wonder how the poster looks like if I am the next D.O.A. actress in the second movie…
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OH. MY. GAWD. Geez…I think it’ll flop big time at the box office.

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What attracted me to watch the movie 300 when it hit the silver screen worldwide was… the bevy of six-pack and holliee schmoly eight-pack abs men!!! Ohmygawd! Ohmygawd! Ohmygawd! Ohmygawd! Ohmygawd! Ohmygawd! Ohmygawd! Ohmygawd! Ohmygawd! Ohmygawd! Ohmygawd! Ohmygawd! Ohmygawd!

<*STOP IT!!! SLAP! STOP IT!!! Perrinator volunteers to slap herself back into reality*>

Ah yes, where was I? Right, the washboard abs men. Their abs were definitely the results of hard work and training in the gym, NOT special effects! Check out this recorded video of the men in training!

Think it’s awesome? Go to YouTube and search for more videos like this.

The movie was more like a slaughterfest, with flying heads and limbs and eye balls all over the place – in a very stylized manner, I might add. And yes, blood. Blood. Blood. Blood. Wow. The way the human parts were slashed and chopped off was so real that it was really hard to imagine it was the work of special effects.

If there is a part two of the movie coming up in the near future, I hope there will be some kind of contest organized for fans to be in the running to win the ultimate trip to the movie set and also to assist in the AUDITION of gorgeous six- and eight-pack men!!!

Oooooooo…it’s hot in here!

Oh, did I tell you I am the winner of the “Attend-300-Movie-Premiere-With-The-Cast” contest?

Gosh! I did look HUGE among the casts! I am definitely a lot shorter than Lena Headey!

Right. I made this up again.

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