PERRINATOR.COM

Yeap! You read that right! I just made a hearty meal for my boy after reading a few doggie blogs and surfing the internet for more food recipes made especially for furkids! But I am still pretty skeptical about preparing meals with errr…oil and other stuff like cream and cheese???

Anyway, I made a McPooch meal just for him to celebrate the occasion of…ME being able to WALK on my TWO feet! LOL!!! But I still can’t walk that fast or run or jump (coz’ the wound have not closed yet…it just dried up). And I walk like a duck! Ugh!! So, ladies and gentlemen, here’s the recipe for my McPooch meal:

3/4 cup of shell pasta
1/2 chicken boobies breast
4 broccoli stalks
2 cups of kibbles

Step 1: Boil 3 cups of water. Pour in 3/4 cup of pasta into the boiling water for about 20 minutes or until soft. Drain the pasta and set aside.

Step 2: Next, boil the chicken breast (diced) for about 10 minutes. Set aside when done.

Step 3: Cut the broccoli into fine pieces and boil it for about 10 minutes. Similarly, set aside when done.

Step 4: Combine the pasta, chicken, broccoli and your usual dog food (mine is Eukanuba) and mix it evenly. If it’s too dry, add in some hot water and mix again.

Step 5: Tempt your pooch.

Step 6: Feed your dog, of course!!!

Okay, so Step 5 isn’t exactly necessary. LOL! If you’re wondering why I boil instead of cooking it the normal way…well…like I said, I don’t wanna use oil! I just want to make it more…err…natural? Anyway, he loved it! Look at his shiny bowl!

Ooooooo yesssss…I’m feeling glitzy! I’m feeling goooood! Ah! I’m feeling glitzy! I’m feeling goooooooddd! Ahh! I think I can go to Hollywood. And make a huge splash over there. Why? Well, I have plenty of STARRY characteristics. Don’t believe me? Let’s run through the list of my star qualities…ehem…

J.Lo’s Ass
Ah yes…as you all are probably aware by now, I am so NOT proud to have her bum. If you’re wondering whether it’s the J.Lo’s ass BEFORE her pregnancy or AFTER she has given birth…well, now that I have been sitting for one blardee month…I’d say it’s the AFTER-ASS.

Rihanna’s Multi-million Legs
Too bad I don’t have that kind of moolah to insure my legs for a million bucks. But it sure feels like a million dollar foot after I have spent close to two freakin’ thousand (or has it already exceeded that amount?!) for the footwear, footcare, surgery and treatments. This is my highest medical bill in my 26 years of miserable life!!!

Jumpin’ Jumpin’
That’s right. Apart from using crutches or moving with my study chair (wheels at the bottom), I’ve been skipping around with my good left leg for short destinations. By short, I meant, like, 3 hops. Oh, by the way, Jumpin’ Jumpin’ was one of the hit singles by Destiny’s Child.

Bootylicious
I can really relate well to this hit song by Destiny’s Child (again). Well, with all that jumping around, don’t you think I’d be shaking the jelly fats around my waist too? Fart! Perhaps I should come up with my own hit single called Jellylicious! Now, who wants a FREE FAT TRANSPLANT?

Brad Armpit
Maaaaaaybe there are like a million of us out there who often associate his last name with the word armpit? I’ve been using the crutches so often that both my armpits are totally bruised and became as huge as Brad Pitt’s one. Feels sore sometimes too. Sigh.

Dancing With The Crutches
After a month of relying on the crutches, I am pretty good at controlling my balance and speed up my ‘walking’. Gee, I think I can soon start a reality dancing show with a screaming title: Dancing With The Crutches! Any participants?

Summary: I am a destiny’s child with the ability to jump on my multi-thousand dollar ringgit leg, shaking all that jelly fats around my waist and my J.Lo’s ass, which by the way, hurts my bradpitt but also made me a star in dancing with the crutches. So Hollywood, come get me!!!

I am not anywhere near the Guru status in Photoshop. Just a beginner (and I think I will forever remain as a beginner!). There are just way sooooooooooooooo many solutions to solve a problem in Photoshop, and PATIENCE is definitely a virtue! And with Photoshop CS3, things just get easier!

Actually, one of my friends is very keen in learning some basic tricks to touch up her collection of travel photos (looks like she has millions of it!) and bombarded me with loads of questions, to which I am delighted to answer and help (well, it sure does help me improve my mediocre skills too!)

So, today, since I am too pissed to continue doing my work (yes, I still gotta work even though I’m on MC! Fart!), I shall share with you on How To Straighten A Crooked Image/Object (also, million thanks to my Mahaguru for teaching me how to do it!)

Now, take a look at this crooked piece:

Step 1: From the Tools palette on your left, select the Ruler Tool icon.

Step 2: When you select the Ruler Tool, note that your cursor will change to into a cross with a mini ruler icon. Click at one point on the horizon, then hold the mouse button and drag across, releasing the mouse button at the other end of the horizon. In other words, drag a line across the image to indicate what should be level. It does not have to be the horizon; it could be a fence line, a roofline, the edge of a shelf, or anything else you know should be perfectly horizontal. So, for this picture, I drag the line just above the Barnes & Noble signboard.

Step 3: Next, from the menubar above, select Image –> Rotate Canvas –> Arbitrary

Step 4: A Rotate Canvas pop-up box will appear with an automatic default value (this value varies with different angle selected in different picture, hence, your value will be different than the one shown here). CW stands for Clockwise and CCW means Counter-Clockwise. Since this image is supposed to rotate on the right side, I selected the option CW. Click OK button when done.

Step 5: The image will be straighten accordingly, as shown below. If the image is not straight enough, you can adjust the default value accordingly (in Step 4) until you get the desired result. However, note that the straighten image now contains unused white space around it.

Step 6: To get rid of the white space, select the Crop Tool from the Tools palette.

Step 7: Drag the crop tool to select the area that you want to crop, eliminating all the unnecessary white space. Hit the Enter button to crop it.

Voila! This is the final result you get after cropping it:

Keep on practicing till you get the desired results, okay? The steps above should work well with Photoshop 7.0 and above. For those of you with Photoshop CS3, there is a much quicker way to do this.

Go to your menubar, and select File –> Automate –> Crop and Straighten Photos

As soon as you have selected the Crop and Straighten Photos, it will automatically crop the photo and the end result is this:

Note that it is not that perfect. You can see the extra white space at the bottom right. All you gotta do is just crop the photo again (refer to Step 6) and that shall get rid of the space! Happy Photoshopping folks!

No no no! I’m not missing you, you or you! (except that I miss my Granny a lot!) It’s about all the good stuff that I’ve missed (and gonna miss) while I am a temporarily disabled person! Fart. Here’s a list of what I’ve already missed out:

1. Colbie Caillat’s Performance
Dammit! Now I would have to wait for God knows how many more years before she’ll come to Malaysia again!

<* Perrinator slams her forehead repeatedly on her keyboard *>

2. St. Patrick’s Day
I thought I wanted to be more active this year by participating in more celebrations/festivals especially foreign ones, but look what happened to me! Geez!!! Oh well, there’s still Oktoberfest!

<* Perrinator crumples the newspaper she is reading after finding out that the public had a blast at the St. Patrick’s fest in Plaza Mon’t Kiara *>

3. Pet Exhibition
AAAaaaaaaaaaaaawwwwwwww!!! A pet exhibition in Midvalley?! I think this is the first time I’ve heard of such a furry event being held in a shopping mall! Like, hello! It doesn’t happen very often!

<* Perrinator is just about to slam her forehead on the keyboard when she realizes that there are oily smudges all over the keyboard. Instead, she bangs her skull on the heaps of paperwork strewn all over her table *>

Sigh. I will definitely miss the Easter Celebration, which is TOMORROW. I love the Easter bunnies and the Easter eggs! Thought of getting a basket full of Easter goodies and bring it over to my goddaughter’s place but… aww…there’s always next year, honey!

Despite all these ‘misfortunes’, I am very happy that my bunch of BFFs came over for a visit last night along with my hyperactive goddaughter! Though one of them couldn’t make it, but they surely cheered me up last night! My goddaughter wasn’t even afraid of my boy!

She walked all over my house, laughed with us when we were laughing, belted out a few songs in Chinese and English, high-five everyone, smooched my chubby cheeks and… thanks to her mother, she knows how to pick up a strand of hair on the floor and toss it into the bin! By the way, she is only one and a half years old! LOL! Love you lots, peeps!

I think most of us are familiar with the range of famous clothing lines – Armani, Dolce & Gabbana, Marc Jacobs, Dior, Versace, Nike, Adidas – whoops, clearly I’m a fashion idiot. Anyway, I have absolutely no idea, whose idea this is…wearing ‘clothes’ made of balloons?! I received this forwarded email with all these eye-popping pictures which I think is hilarious and uhm…trendy? LOL! See for yourself (if you haven’t seen it already!).

That sums it up! Go grab your ballooned clothes now! Dial 1800-G-I-V-E-M-E-M-Y-B-A-L-L-O-O-N-123 before 30th May 2008 and receive a complimentary pair of skin-colored bra and panties in the event your balloon pops!

PS: If your boyfriend pops your balloon on purpose, fret not! Just dial 1800-P-L-E-A-S-E-J-A-I-L-M-Y-H-A-M-S-A-P-B-F-456 and we’ll toss his ass into a jail full of horny GAY men!