PERRINATOR.COM

I did some revisions lately in order to prepare for Level 2 next month, so I thought, hey, why not describe or write something and make use as much as the vocabs or grammar that I’ve practiced before? And then…this EVIL idea magically appeared (okay, so it didn’t exactly magically appeared, I MADE it to appear!) about writing…uh, describing…someone…someone that I’ve err…’created’… (those of you who know me surely knows who this someone is…) Hence, without further ado, let’s see how well horridly I’ve done…

<* Perrinator roars with laughter before continuing her SINISTER practical lessons… *>
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Madre mia!!! Esta es una puta fea! Tienes los ojos hinchados (como un osa panda) y el pelo corto maloliente. Ella es muy tonta, baja y bastante gorda. Tienes un lunar grande fea en su cara. Su nariz es como un tomate porque estornuda mucha! Sus manos y piernas son muy extrañas. Ohhh…sus dientes son negros!!! ¿Sabes que tiene muchas arrugas en su frente? Y hay muchos granos en su cara redonda! Es como una mina de oro! Jajajajajaja!!!!

También, ella es la persona más idiota del mundo! Le gusta hacer muchas preguntas estúpidas casi todos los días, como un niña que usualmente pregunta “¿mamá, por qué la hierba es verde?” Pero, ella no es un niña!! Así que, ¿acuerdas conmigo que ella es muy tonta?

Ah, también tienes un coche verde feo pero ella es muy perezosa lavar su coche. No sabe cocinar o hornear pero sabe comer. No sabe hacer las tareas de la casa pero sabe acortarse y dormir. No sé por qué su marido se casa con ella!! Oh, ¿quizás también él es tonto? Jajajajajaja!!!

La traducción (the translation):

Oh my goodness!!! This is one ugly bitch! She has swollen eyes (like a panda bear) and short smelly hair. She is very stupid, short and quite fat. She has a big ugly mole on her face. Her nose is like a tomato because she sneezes a lot! Her hands and legs are really weird. Oh…her teeth are black!!! Do you know that she has a lot of wrinkles on her forehead? And there are a lot of pimples on her round face! It’s like a goldmine! Hahahahahaha!!!

She is also the most idiotic person on earth! She likes to ask a lot of stupid questions almost everyday, like a kid that usually asks “Mom, why the grass is green?” But she is not a kid!! So, don’t you agree with me that she is really stupid?

Ah, she also has an ugly green car but she is too lazy to wash her car. She do not know how to cook or bake but she knows how to eat. She do not know how to do housework but she knows how to go to bed and sleep. I don’t know why her husband marries her!! Oh, perhaps he’s stupid too? Hahahahaha!!!!

Oh dear me, if there are any Spanish-speaking people or Spaniards who happen to chance upon this entry of mine, do help me correct my mistakes (I’m sure there are plenty!).

I am so excited to be sharing this modified recipe with you all! Well, I said “modified” because I didn’t exactly follow the recipe’s original ingredients and I simply modified it to suit my tastebud! My first carrot cake failed (again I blame it on the recipe! Hehehe), so I guess second time’s the charm for me! LOL! This recipe makes more sense than the previous one I used. Anyway, here it is!

Ingredients (A):

375ml corn oil [I ended up using about 225ml]
170g castor sugar [I used 150g]
140g brown sugar [I used 120g]
4 egg yolks
1 ½ cup carrot shreds [I’d recommend at least 2 cups!]

Ingredients (B) [sifted]:

250g low protein flour [I don’t have the flour and didn’t want to rush out to buy either, hence, I used my existing self-raising flour]
2tsp five spice powder [I used mixed spice since I didn’t have the five spice, and I used about 1 ½ level tsp]
1 ½ tsp baking powder [only use this if you’re using the low protein flour]
1 tsp salt

Ingredients (C):

4 egg whites

Ingredients (D) for decoration:
150g cream cheese
90g butter
2 tsp vanilla essence
150g icing sugar
1 cup carrot shreds
Some carrot particles

Method:

1. Whisk egg yolk and sugar in a mixing bowl, gradually adding the corn oil into the mixture, and lastly the carrot shreds (of Ingredients A).

2. Add in Ingredients B into the mixture and mix well.

3. In another mixing bowl, beat Ingredients C till stiff. Then, add in the mixture from Step 1 and mix them well together.

4. Pour into a cake tin lined with greaseproof paper and bake at 180C for 45 to 55 minutes (till cooked).

5. While waiting for the cake to cool, prepare the cream cheese icing by first creaming the butter and cream cheese together till soft and fluffy.

6. Gradually add in icing sugar and beat till smooth. Now we have the cream cheese icing ready.

7. Spread the cream cheese to cover the whole cake, then decorate with carrot shreds and carrot particles of Ingredients D. Chill the cake for at least 2 hours before serving.

Some comments on the method above:

In Ingredients A, 375ml of corn oil is just too much. I followed my baker’s instinct when I noticed that it’s getting pretty oily and stopped at about 150ml. I’d suggest that you start out with 200ml of oil first, then gradually add in if it’s not enough and stop if you feel that it’s too oily. As usual, I always reduce the amount of sugar I used, coz’ the icing is gonna be sweet and I wanted to balance it. Oh, and try using 2 cups of carrot shreds instead!!

In Ingredients B, DO NOT use 2 teaspoonful of five spice or mixed spice powder coz’ it has a very strong smell (similar to cinnamon), and I only used like 1 ½ level tsp of the spice. When I say ‘level’, it means the powder comes FLAT on top of the teaspoon, not like a mountain! In my next try, I’ll use only 1tsp instead coz’ 1 ½ still smell overwhelmingly strong. Oh, and be careful, if you’re using self-raising flour, there is NO need to put in the baking powder! Otherwise, God bless you for making a BALLOON cake!

In Ingredients D, the cream cheese icing is only enough to cover the entire cake. In my next try, I’ll double the amount of the icing, cut the cake into two or three layers and spread them evenly on each layer! I think that will surely taste even better!

In Step 4, I took almost an hour to bake my cake. So I guess it still depends on the type of oven we use. Anyway, just remember to check your cake using a cake tester, begin with 45 minutes, then add another 5 minutes and so on till it’s cooked. Oh, and there were bubbles all over the top of my cake! I wonder why! LOL!

In Step 7, you must at least chill the cake for 2 hours. For best results, chill beyond that! Say, maybe 4 hours? The cream cheese icing will hardened a little and when you cut in the cake…ah…the icing didn’t melt nor drip like blood and the cake’s texture didn’t crumble either. And one more thing, I turned the cake upside down before spreading the cream cheese coz’ it’s a totally flat surface at the bottom and it looks nicer compare to covering the cake like a mountain due to the raised centre portion.

Ahhh…so there you have it! A simple carrot cake for tea time (or breakfast!). Do let me know how yours turn out!

I don’t normally do this, and I don’t normally care about celebrities, but the latest ‘phenomenal performance’ by the arrogant a-hole himself did hit a nerve in me. In case some of you still didn’t know, well, to summarize, during the MTV Video Music Awards last week, he totally ruined Taylor Swift’s FIRST moonman award by snatching away the microphone from her before she could finish her acceptance speech!!

Whaaaa?! He thinks he’s the ONLY celebrity in this world? He thinks he has the right to do whatever he wants without thinking about others? How would he feel if someone burst into his glorious moment and did the same thing?? I’d gladly ruin his win (if he could ever win again after this incident) and make it the WORST acceptance speech interruption ever!!!

<* Perrinator imagines herself running like a mad gladiator, armed with a gigantic electric mixer and a huge mixing bowl filled with capati and curry gravy, and slam it all over Kanye before he could even utter the first word on stage *>

I don’t think it’s staged. Heck, I don’t think MTV is that stupid to setup something hooligan like that and destroyed Taylor’s first VMA! Her FIRST, people! Her FIRST! Poor chic. I seriously think that Kanye should be banned from attending MTV or any other award events in future! Better yet, there should be some rules to indicate that all attendees should behave appropriately or risk getting thrown out of the event like a trash.

Kanye has an ego so high that I think his name deserves to be inked in the Guiness Book World Of Records under the category “The Most Egotistical Hooligan Ever Lived”. Some of the celebrities even criticized him, and these are some of my favourite compilations of their response:

Katy Perry – “F@3k you Kanye. It’s like you stepped on a kitten.”
Kelly Clarkson – “What happened to you as a child?? Did you not get hugged enough??”
Miley Cyrus – “He does it for press. Don’t feed into it.”
Pink – “Kanye West is the biggest piece of $h1+ on earth. Quote me.”
President Obama – “He’s a jack@$$.”

Kanye, I’ve collaborated with other celebrities with brains and common sense and published this guidebook especially for people like you…

To be honest, I am pretty frustrated lately due to uhm…well, work-related stuff. So, after work today, I went home and ransacked the cupboard where I stored all my baking stuff, and found that I still have a chocolate muffin ready-mixed package that will expire next month! Ahhh…so, the immediate remedy to my frustration is…baking!!!!!

But…there’s a big BUT…after my first batch of muffins came out of the oven and cooled down thereafter…the top of the muffins were ROCK-SOLID!!!! What. The. Fart?! Again, this would be my last time ever buying a ready-mixed package! Dammit!!! I still haven’t taste it yet coz’ it’s still hot. Sigh…

Nonetheless, I’m feeling slightly better now. Oh well, guess I better start doing my Spanish revision now! Level 2 begins next month! Buenas noches!

This is my first time baking cupcakes but it looks a lot like muffins! Dammit! Well, at least it’s edible, taste pretty good (although there’s nothing to shout about) and kinda moist inside. I actually used the Nestum Cake recipe, modified its ingredients and managed to bake 18 small cupcakes! Here’s the recipe that I’ve altered:

Ingredients:

240g butter
170g castor sugar (initial recipe calls for 200g of sugar!!)
4 eggs
100g Nestum (50g is the original recipe but trust me, it’s not enough!)
200g self-raising flour, sifted
150ml milk

Method:

1. Cream butter and sugar till light and fluffy.

2. Add in eggs one by one, beating well after each addition till creamy.

3. Add Nestum and mix well.

4. Divide flour and milk into 3 parts and fold in alternatively till well-combined.

5. Spoon the mixture into each greased muffin holes lined with paper cups, slightly more than three-quarters full.

6. Bake in pre-heated oven at 180C for 20-25 minutes until golden brown.

7. Remove from oven and leave to cool before serving.

Some comments on the method above:

In Step 4, it is very important that you fold them in alternatively. Otherwise, the entire mixture will become too watery and the result is…well, a disaster! Hence, divide your flour into 3 parts, and divide your milk into 3 parts, which means you fold in the first part of the flour and 50ml of milk as Round 1, then second part of the flour and 50ml of milk as Round 2 and lastly, the third part of the flour and 50ml of milk as Round 3. Make sure you mix them well in each round before proceeding with the next round. Another tip is to make a small well in the centre and pour the milk into it. That way, when you use the electric mixer to mix it, the milk wouldn’t splatter all over you.

In Step 5, I think I should have made a hollow hole in the centre so that it doesn’t rise up and looks like muffins! You can try doing that and let me know the results! LOL!

The weird thing about my muffins cupcakes is that…well, did you notice the different colours of the cupcakes? Although all of them were put into the oven in the same tray, it yields different colours after baking (strangely, they were all cooked). I guess the most logical explanation I could think of is…the fan in my oven is not really working properly as it does not circulate the heat evenly in the oven! Hmm…time to change to a bigger, leaner and meaner oven! LOL! Any sponsors? I’ll bake you FREE** goodies if you buy me a good oven!